Pouring cappuccinos, investing in fitness routines, quiet moments observing the ocean from my apartment windows, flowers.

The fragile moments of security ballooning around the free flowing movements of uncertainty. The latex knot is tied but the pressure is almost unbearable to contain.

I am in the market for faith. I searched for her at farmers’ markets, op-shops, and inside the car wash of a Petrol station. She is elusive- does she even want to be found?

Let it roll over my tongue and marinate on my lips. This question of obvious intent, uninvited to the party again. I will never reign in my curiosity but I will reign in my ability to make sense of it all.

It is pouring again but I am completely absorbed.